Help! I'm Lost and I Can't Find Myself!

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From what little I knew of the This was quite a book. You can pray by yourself, using your own words. I was there reading away thinking that this was a typical sort of mixed family that reflected life today. So I would sneak off somewhere to snort a line of meth, or wait until she fell asleep to do it; I was a complete prisoner of the drug.

The intensity of the love and unexpected insights from God. There is a lot going on in this book but all of it sucked me in. Head goes from talking about being a new Christian to speaking in tongues in a chapter or two, and from there it's talk about prophecy, dreams from God, etc, etc.

Pray For Me Lyrics by The Weeknd & Kendrick Lamar

Summary The amazing true story of an out-of-control rock star, his devastating addiction to drugs, and his miraculous redemption through Jesus Christ. The event set off a media frenzy as observers from around the world sought to understand what led this rock star out of the darkness and into the light. Now, in this courageous memoir, Head talks for the first time about his shocking embrace of God and the tumultuous decade that led him into the arms of Jesus Christ. Offering a backstage pass to his time with Korn, Head tells the inside tell me who is going to save me from myself of his years in the band and explains how his rock star lifestyle resulted in an all-consuming addiction to methamphetamines. Writing openly about the tour bus mayhem of Ozzfest and The Family Values tour, he provides a candid look at how the routine of recording, traveling, and partying placed him in a cycle of addiction that he could not break on his own. Speaking honestly about his addiction, Head details his struggles with the drug that ultimately led him to seek a higher power. Despite his numerous attempts to free himself from meth, nothing—not even the birth of his daughter—could spur him to kick it for good. Here Head addresses how, with the help of God, he emerged from his dangerous lifestyle and found a path that was not only right for his daughter, it was right for him. Discussing the chaotic end to his time in Korn and how his newfound faith has influenced his relationship with his daughter, his life, and his music, Head describes the challenging but rewarding events of the last two years, exposing the truth about how his moments of doubt and his hardships have only deepened his faith. Candid, compelling, and inspirational, Save Me from Myself is a rock 'n' roll journey unlike any other. Like most people, my heart has been beaten up pretty badly throughout the years by myself and by others. Unlike most people, I had a childhood dream to become a rock star that came true. I was able to do what I wanted to do, go where I wanted to go, and buy what I wanted to buy. Unlike most people, I gave all this up—my music, my band, my career, everything—when I had an encounter with God. After that, all I wanted to do was focus on my future, sweeping everything from my past under the rug and moving on with my new life. Or, at least, that was my plan until a friend suggested that I write a book about my life. As a new follower of Christ, I had been undertaking the process of crucifying my past and starting a new chapter in my life. Well, I prayed about it, and after a lot of thought, I came to the conclusion that exposing all the darkness from my past would be part of my healing process. It was with this goal of helping others that I decided to write my story, to share some of my inner demons with others, so that perhaps you or someone you know can avoid the trouble that I came to know all too well. I had some good times, but most of those always seemed to lead me into trouble. Another reason I really wanted to write this book is to help explain to my family, friends, and fans how I came to this major decision to drop everything and follow Christ. You see, I was a master at hiding my pain and anguish from absolutely everyone. I was always the one who made everyone laugh—everyone except myself that is. I would always act like a goofball, appearing to be a normal, happy guy when I was around people. But it was all a front to cover up the internal prison that my heart was in. Behind closed doors, I was a very depressed, lost soul. As you read this book, please remember that while my outer life looked happy to the rest of the world, there were a lot of things happening inside me that no one knew about. This is the story of that inner life. I really feel like God wanted me to tell my story how it happened. And if it offends you, well…some of it is offensive. Anyway, I hope this book touches your heart in some way. Thanks for checking it out. It was the voice of my daughter, Jennea, who was skipping around the living room and singing. I was too wrapped up in the sight of her jumping around the house, singing in her cute, innocent, five-year-old voice, and looking like a modern-day Shirley Temple, with her hair dangling down in curly, light-brown ringlets. A few days earlier, we had returned from my tell me who is going to save me from myself 2004 tour with Korn. Jennea had not been with me for the whole summer, but she had come out with us for a couple of weeks toward the end of the tour. Jennea was and is the love of my life. She was always so happy, and her happiness was very contagious. Still, she was amazing to have around. Everyone on the tour absolutely adored Jennea, and they would all try to behave around her. Our bass player, Fieldy, made up a rule that anyone who cussed in front of Jennea had to give her a buck. It was an attempt to train us to watch our mouths around her. Everyone really tried, but a few hours after we made the rule, she had already made about fifty bucks, so I called the deal off. I wish I could say that cussing was the worst of it, but unfortunately it was just the tip of the iceberg. I wanted Jennea to watch me play guitar every night, and so I gave her these special headphones that people use at shooting ranges to drown out all the noise. During our set, I would always try and make eye contact with her. Some of the time she would notice me looking tell me who is going to save me from myself her and she would wave and give me a huge smile. Other times I would try to get her attention, but she would be staring into the madness going on in the crowd. In general, it was just some crazy dudes screaming the lyrics in the front row, but this was not always the case. There were some times when the madness became too much. There would be girls in the front row making out with each other, or girls with their shirts up flashing all of us in the band. It was no place for a kid to be. I had reached my own personal gutter. Here I was, the guitarist for one of the biggest rock bands in the world, raking in millions of bucks and playing huge concerts all over the globe, but I was completely miserable. The thought of this made me so depressed that I turned to the only thing I knew that could comfort me: drugs. That year, I pretty much lived on beer, pills, speed, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Part of me wanted to get cleaned up, but another part of me wanted to die from a drug overdose. When I was on tour that summer, I fantasized about passing out and dying while asleep on my tour bus. Then, after I was gone, everyone would miss me and feel sorry for me like they did for all those other dead rock stars. Eventually, I would snap out of those dark thoughts and think about everything and everyone I had to live for. Believe it or not, even in the state I was in, I had full custody of Jennea, so I would think about her and how much she needed me. I would think about her beautiful light-brown curly hair and her smile that could chase away all my thoughts of death. I would think about how I was a suicidal rock star single father who desperately needed help. After the shows, I would try to hang out with her and be normal, but it was hard because of my addictions. I tried not to do drugs while she was around, yet I needed them to function. So I would sneak off somewhere to snort a line of meth, or wait until she fell asleep to do it; I was a complete prisoner of the drug. Sitting at home that day and listening to her singing, I was thinking about how amazing she was. I was thinking about how she was the cutest person in the world, and how hard it would be to leave her to go back on tour that fall. Then I heard what she was singing. It was a Korn song called A. That was the moment when I started seriously considering leaving Korn, but even then, I knew considering such a move was a lot different from actually doing it. Since I was a kid, I had dreamed about becoming a rock star, and it seemed to me that quitting Korn also meant quitting on my childhood dream. But then I wondered how I could stay in the band when I was so miserable most of the time. When I left for our fall tour, I started doing a lot more drugs, and the suicidal thoughts started getting stronger. Death really seemed like a good option to me sometimes. I really started to believe those thoughts. I would do speed during the day, and take Xanax at night. I was completely out of my mind. What went wrong with me. How did I get to this point. How did I even get out of this alive. All the way to hell and back. In the past few years, the place has grown a ton, but when I was younger, it was still pretty small. There are two important things that you should know about Bakersfield when I was younger: It was hot we pretty much baked in the heat every summer, so we tell me who is going to save me from myself calling it Bako. My childhood there was pretty typical. Like a lot of kids in Bako, I grew up in a nice enough house, with nice enough parents. We were pretty much a typical middle-class family of the eighties, living at the end of a cul-de-sac in a ranch-style house with a basement. We had a home theater system down there well, as good as home theaters got back thenhuge couches, a huge pool table, a big Asteroids game just like they had at the arcadeand some workout equipment. For the most part, my dad was a pretty cool guy. But when he got angry, he got scary. Part of it had to do with his drinking; his dad was an alcoholic, and my dad drank a bit too. While my dad usually got happy when he was drunk, he definitely had his moments when his temper would flare up—even over little things. A few minutes after his anger fits ended, he was usually back to normal. They were scary moments, but then they would pass. Overall, my mom was pretty cool and laid back—more or less your standard mom. She cooked good dinners every night, helped get us ready for school in the mornings, kept the house really clean, basically your typical mom stuff. It seemed like she had it more together than anyone else in our house, but she had her issues too—just like everyone else in the world. My brother Geoff is two years older than I am, and, like all brothers, he and I fought a lot when we were kids. We also used to play games together for hours and make each other laugh. As we got older and became teenagers, we began pushing each other away in a more serious manner. For example, I was into heavy metal, but he was into new wave. Geoff used to pin his jeans real tight at the bottom and his hair was long on one side of his face—down past his eye—while on the other side, it was cut short; it was the classic new wave hairdo. I would constantly make fun of him for it and for being new wave in general. One time we were arguing in our basement about something stupid, and I picked up a pool cue and whacked him with it as hard as I could. I knew he was going to kill me for that, so I ran to my mom and hid behind her until he calmed down. When he was sixteen, he had this yellow Volkswagen bug that was slammed to the ground with matching yellow rims. One day I took the bus a half-hour across town to go hang out at the mall all day with one of my friends, and at the end of the day, I was tired and seriously not looking forward to another half-hour bus ride home. We saw my brother in his bug, and I asked him for a lift. Our family moved from Los Angeles to Bako when I was in the fourth grade. My mom also worked with my dad at the Chevron too. Looking back on it, it was amazing that the two of them got along so well. They worked together all day, five or six days a week, then came home at night and dealt with me and Geoff. They had their problems—and we added to them—but they worked hard to make money and to make us a family. Though I managed to avoid it, East Bakersfield had a big problem with gangs. They fought a lot, but it was mostly with knives and fists. I became interested in music around 1980 when I was ten years old, roughly a year after we moved to Bakersfield. Frank, my godfather, was a guitar player, and they had a piano in their house that I always liked to plink on. Even then, there was something about playing music that fascinated me, so when I saw my godfather Frank play his guitar, I started getting interested in learning an instrument myself. The funny thing is that I originally wanted to play drums, but my dad talked me out of it. With drums out of the question, I chose a guitar—not just any guitar, my first guitar, a Peavey Mystic. Have you ever seen one of those. If you have, you know exactly the kind of music I was into. My whole family was really supportive of my new obsession, and my mom even started taking me to lessons every week. After awhile, I pretty much understood what was going on with the whole guitar thing. I could hear where notes were supposed to be played, and about a year after I started playing, I began teaching myself Ted Nugent, Queen, and Journey songs. I remember hearing it and thinking, I want to be just like Angus Young. Here I was, close to being a teenager, not too good with my parents but really good on this guitar—I just started playing constantly. My parents took an interest in my playing, too. It was fun, just to play. From an early age, I loved playing music. Iron Maiden, Ozzy, Judas Priest, Mötley Crüe, Van Halen—all that stuff—and I had the look to prove it. As far as looks were concerned, I was living the metal lifestyle.

If you then goto 11:10 in the video then you will hear the song. Religion run amuck would be the central character. I know what it is like to not want to go to church or to be open with my friends because the fear of being rejected if I was truly honest. My journey has led me to focusing on other people instead of myself , trying in my own way to be the hands, arms and voice of Jesus to them. Many usage guides, however, state that to use myself in any construction in which I or me could be used instead as My daughter and myself play the flute instead of My daughter and I is characteristic only of informal speech and that such use ought not to occur in writing. I also went to see a counselor who helped me work through some issues. If you do a little bit of research, you can prioritize your achievements. One of them was learning to focus on other people.